The Date is Set!

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The Wedding Plans So Far

Planning a wedding on a budget isn’t easy, but it does force one to be creative (which is such fun). I’ve had lots of questions, so I’ll just let you in on what I know so far.

The date: It’s hard to set a date when you don’t have six months or more to plan (and you’re frugal like me). It all depends on when you can get a photographer, the venue, and a slew of other things. We started out with late September/early October. I was rooting for mid October because I’ve always wanted a fall wedding outdoors. But October 4th is the latest James will let me go. He does have a firm opinion on the date, “You mean you wanna push the wedding back for some leaves?!”.  He’s pretty much let me do whatever I want for the wedding, so I guess I’ll have to concede this one. October 4th is the day before my birthday, and the minister is not available then, so I’ve pretty much ruled that out. It’s looking like September 20 or 27. After this weekend, I should know the official date!

The dress: I have my dress already! I went dress shopping twice with a few of my friends. The second trip was to David’s Bridal. I had picked out about a dozen dresses online, so the attendant got those for me to try on. Nothing wow-ed me. My friends went and picked out a few too. There were some nice ones, but again, nothing wow-ed me. Finally as a last resort, I looked around myself and tried on a dress a size too small (but on sale). I put it on (but didn’t zip it) and was wowed! It was champagne and ivory (I never wanted a stark white dress) and was unique enough and flattering enough to fit my criteria. I was planning to spend $500 or less. It was marked down from about $1000 to $550. I was ready to buy it on the spot. The fact that it didn’t zip didn’t matter much, because I thought I’d have my mom make it into a corset back (which I like anyway) and then it wouldn’t matter if I lost weight or stayed the same size.  They were advertising every dress on sale, but since it was already on clearance, I didn’t think it would be. I asked; she checked; it was down to $350! When I got to the counter, it rang up as $299! That made my little penny-pinching self want to click my heels.  So, no, I’m not going to show it to you, but here’s a sneak preview. That’s Abbey, my niece and Jr. Bridesmaid will be her dress (after alterations).

The Bridesmaids….will be my sister, Tracy; Niki, my best friend from college; and Emily, a friend from church. I personally think bridesmaid’s gowns are beautiful, but very frivolous considering they usually cost well over $100 and can’t be worn again.  I went back and forth over what to do. I thought about having everyone wear black. I had found a beautiful gold gown for about $40. I bought one for Abbey to wear. My bridesmaids are all such different shapes and sizes; no gown would look good on all of them. So I bought some snazzy “social separate” tops in my wedding colors. They don’t match, but that way everyone can have something that looks good on them. To tie them together, my mom will make matching skirts in their respective colors.  BTW, the colors are Aubergine, Burgundy, and a Moss green with gold accents.

  

The Venue: Well in my search for outdoor venues, I looked at parks, his parents’ backyard, my parents’ backyard, and my brother and sister-in-law’s place. There was a lovely park near my home where I found a neat area canopied by trees, but I could not find a reception area nearby for less than $500.  My parents’ backyard is beautiful, but after lots of measuring, I thought it would be too small for over 200 people.

So I headed over to my brother’s place (actually my parents own it). I’ve always thought their tree-lined drive was gorgeous. They live a few minutes outside of Liberty, MO (where parents and sister live) in a subdivision where all the houses have about 3 acres. They have a pond and lots of trees. We looked around for the best spot, and decided that of all places, the driveway itself would be the aisle. I’m very excited. I love nature, so it’ll be nice to be married under a canopy of leaves (Pray for no rain that day….whichever day that might be).   Everyone I’ve told thinks getting married in a driveway is pretty weird. But it’s not an average driveway….

Here’s a shot of the surroundings (that’s my sis-in-law’s sister’s pug, Marty)….

We couldn’t formally decide on this place until we found a practical and inexpensive reception site. My sister’s church in Liberty was very accommodating. I’m going to look at it Sunday, but I think that’s pretty much a done deal.

The flowers: I’m buying them direct from S. America. This will save a ton of money and I can get 2 of my favorites: dark red roses and aubergine mini calla lilies. They’ll arrive on Thursday before the wedding and my mom and I will put them into simple hand-tied bouquets.

The photos: Here’s a huge expense. And being the artist that I am, the pics are important. While I don’t want to spend an exorbitant amount, I’m willing to allocate more of my budget towards that. James suggested using people we know who are just good at photography. While they are good, I explained to him that there’s definitely a difference in pros and amateurs. I’ve done a small wedding myself (and I’m not a pro). It was not as easy as I thought. I think the equipment and experience makes a huge difference.  Plus I’d like pics with an artsy flair.

So while most photographers around here start at $1000 for their wedding packages, I tried to find something a bit less. Thought I had a lead, but she was booked. So then I thought about my friend Cyndi. I know her from stamping, plus she’s an artist and great photographer. I had seen some senior pics she’d done a few years ago that were fabulous. I didn’t realize she was doing weddings now, so when I found that out, I called her up. We’re meeting tomorrow to go over details, so hopefully that will work out.

The music: The hardest part will be narrowing it down! Lots of ideas, but I’m trying not to turn the ceremony into a musical (I would love it, but it would probably bore the guests). I am going to have 3 of my college friends sing (we sang in a small women’s ensemble in college, so I’ll have to make myself not hum along).

Invites: Don’t even have a date yet. I am making them, but that’s down the road.

The guest list: Not including the general invites I’ll send to churches I’ve attended in the past, I have over 170 on my list. (That’s what happens when you’re an older bride and you’ve lived in several places in your adult life). James has about 30 (20 are family). From what I’ve heard, that’s pretty typical. So some of you may have to go sit on his side to even things out a bit.

The cake: Here’s where my non-traditional side shows. A beautiful cake is simply not that important to me. Especially $500-$900 important! We’ll probably have a dessert buffet with several cakes instead. Besides, I’ve had a lot of wedding cake that was pretty blah tasting.

Well that’s about it for now. Still lots to do, but we’re making progress. If my sis could plan a wedding in a month (for a lot less people though) I’m sure I can pull this together in 3.

Chicago Revisited

A few weekends ago, James had a volleyball tournament in Chicago. I was there 2 years ago and just loved the city, so I jumped at the chance to go. I had a few vacation days to use up by the end of June, so that worked out perfectly. We flew in on a Friday morning and had the day to explore before his tournament on Saturday. We stayed at a hostel (couldn’t find any hotel rooms under $150/each). Here’s a picture. It was really in a charming little neighborhood. 

 

We discovered a wonderful little Austrian bakery around the corner that was fabulous. We ended up eating there at least once a day. James is the kind of guy to strike up conversation with anyone, so we got on a first name basis with the Austrian owner, Michael. James spent a couple of years in Germany with the Army, so it was like a trip down memory lane for him.  I don’t remember the name of the bakery, as it was in Austrian, but it’s on the east side of Clark street near Roslyn street.

That evening, we headed to the Chicago Art Institute, as they had their free admission night. I had James take my pic by some famous artwork that I’ve taught the kids at school about…

 The next morning, we got up early and headed to the beach for his tourney. We were early, so we snuck in a little nap.

 

He played well (though he didn’t place). It was a warm day, and after playing, he washed off in the water (it was freezing).

Saturday happened to be his birthday, so I treated him to some Chicago deep dish pizza. They sure are proud of their pizza ($40 for one large). It was good pizza, but not $40 good; I’ve had better. WE only ate half and took the rest back to the hostel. He kept his with him, but I insisted it would go bad, so I put mine in the community fridge. Sure enough, someone got themselves $10 worth of pizza for free. So much for trusting humanity. Here’s how I felt about that….

We visited several sites over the weekend. I happened to notice that the Field Museum was free for teachers. Techically I am not a teacher, but since I’m a therapist at a school, I have a School/Teacher ID. James didn’t have his with him, but he showed his principal’s business card, and they let him in too.

We also took in the Shedd Aquarium. It was about an hour before closing time, so James asked if we could get a disount for being late. OF course not, but that prompted me to ask if they gave teacher’s discounts. They did! Another free museum. 

WE also spent a lot of time just walking around Lincoln park, which was near our hostel. They had a beautiful pond where we fed the ducks, 

a free zoo,

 

 

 

 

 

 

and a beautiful free conservatory.   We headed home Monday night, after taking in the Navy Pier and the free Stained Glass Museum there. My feet were so sore and tired, I had to buy some tennis shoes the last day. We walked 15 - 18 miles a day!

 

An Interesting Trip to the Museum

Being an artist, I’m obviously a fan of great art. And in particular, I’ve always loved the Impressionists. In fact, I’m such an admirer that I’ve painted all 4 walls in my bathroom in the style of one of Claude Monet’s many water lily paintings.  So when James mentioned that the Nelson Atkins museum was having a special exhibition featuring some of the most famous Impressionists, as well as VanGogh, a post-Impressionist, I was happy to go check it out.

The Nelson Atkins is a top notch museum, especially for a city the size of Kansas City. I don’t know why I don’t go more often, as it’s only 10 minutes from my house and FREE! We planned to go last Friday evening, as he was planning to leave bright and early for a volleyball tournament in Nebraska. As it turned out, his plans were up in the air and he said he might have to leave around 7 to catch a ride with someone to NE.  I offered for us to go another night, but he didn’t want to miss the exhibition and we’re typically pretty busy. So we went knowing that our time might be cut short should he get a last minute ride.

As it turned out, it was a beautiful day and the pristine grounds were gorgeous as usual. Earlier in the day I had the thought that the Nelson would be a great place to take engagement or wedding photos when the time came. It’s just that pretty.

Since we were short on time, we headed straight upstairs to the Impressionist collection. There were some beautiful pieces there by artists like Pissarro and Monet. By far the stand-out piece in the room was the large waterlily painting by Monet that I was immediately drawn to. James apparently is not familiar with museum protocol, as he inched us up very close to the painting, where we admired the brushstrokes. Of course a security guard was there in a flash to scold us. As I turned, he said, “Ma’am, I need you and your fiancee to step back from the painting.”  I turned to give James a suspicious look and he got down on one knee. He said some very nice and romantic things (which are a bit of a blur now) and popped the question. Of course I said yes! He presented me with a beautiful heart shaped aquamarine ring set (heart shaped because his last name is Hart).  If you’re wondering why aquamarine, it’s because I told him I didn’t want a diamond (I know I’m probably one of the few women in America who does not; I’ll tell you more about why at a later date).

 

I was so glad I brought my camera. I insisted we take our picture in front of the painting. He insisted taht we wait and just take in the moment. After a bit, my good friend Emily showed up. James had been scheming with her this week(along with others). He had wanted her there to take pictures. His parents had staged a photo re-enactment of their proposal in college and so we did the same. Here’s a link to the pictures.

Turns out James had more up his sleeve. The 2 of us and Emily then drove to his niece’s house where a good number of his family were gathered for a celebration (and what a red headed clan that was)!

It was a wonderful evening. he asked if I would have rather been proposed to on a bridge or at a fancy restaurant. I told him his plan was perfect and very sentimental to me.

So my dear readers, I hope you will forgive me for not writing sooner. I decided that we couldn’t be apart right after our engagement, so I went with him to NE for his tournament.  Sunday was church and time with both sets of parents, so I just have not had time on my very slow computer to get anything up until now. Hopefully it’s juicy enough to make up for the wait you all had to endure!

Thursday 13….More About My Catch of the Day, I Mean Lifetime

So I guess I’ve kept you waiting long enough. I promised more about James.  First off, some things we have in common. At first glance who would think an athlete and an artsy girl would have much in common, but…

1. We both work with special needs kids in a school setting. He’s a teacher in an alternative classroom of a middle school. This isn’t really his cup of tea though, so he’ll be looking for something in his field….history.
2. We both like volleyball. (Although, this is kind of laughable.)  As I told him, I’m only kinda good when I’m on a church women’s league where the average height if 5′4″. He on the other hand is a real pro. He’s played in the AVP tournament…you know the 2 man beach volleyball you see on TV. So I’m a little intimidated to play with him on a league if that opportunity should present itself. He’s very dedicated to the sport and practices 3 - 4  times a week, which is above and beyond his gym workouts.
3. We both are very frugal. I’m a bargain shopping queen and he loves that because he’s frugal too.  When we go out to eat, we often split a meal. He definitely is not materialistic and is not obsessed about money in the least.
4. We both love animals. He has 2 black labs and I of course have the dog and cat. When we take the dogs for walks, it looks like an oreo. Make that a Double Stuff Oreo.



5. We’re both down to earth, or as I like to say, low maintenance. Wait, that sounds bad. How about non-high maintenance.  And though with other dates I’ve felt this innate need to impress them, I feel totally comfortable around James. He’s seen me in sweats, without makeup….couldn’t imagine after dating someone a few weeks that I’d be comfortable with that.
6. Of less importance (but still an added bonus), we’re both tall. I’m 5′11″, so it’s hard to find guys I can look up to.  While I have gone out with shorter guys, it doesn’t exactly make me feel feminine.  With James at 6′3″ I sometimes feel short compared to him.
7. We’re both Ps (if you don’t know what I’m talking about, click here). We both like spontaneity and flexibility over rigidity and routine.
8. We both love to travel.
9. Most importantly, we are both Christians and have been praying for the right person to come into our lives.

AND other qualities I love about James….

1. He is open and honest about his feelings. With James it’s not like most guys where you have to pry them open to get at what they’re thinking or feeling.  He’s very forthcoming about his feelings and I find that very refreshing. Emotional availability is one of the main qualities I was looking for.
2. He treats me like a queen. Who wouldn’t like that?  This boils down to him being a pretty selfless guy and a complete gentleman.  If I try to get my own door, he gives my hand a little slap.
3. He’s very health conscious and takes great care of himself. He eats organic food, drinks purified water, takes multiple supplements and of course works out. He hasn’t been naggy at all about getting me on the bandwagon, but since he plans to live to 100, I find myself wanting to make some healthy changes.
4. He is a friend to anyone. He has some fairly seedy neighbors, but he doesn’t let that stop him from being friendly, offering a listening ear, or giving some financial assistance. He’s the kind of guy that could befriend about anyone. What a great ministry that is.

 So there you go. There’s much more I like about him, but 9 + 4 = Your Thursday Thirteen. 

Plenty of Fish in the Sea, huh?

Well that’s what they say anyway. With my many years of dating/singleness, I’d have to concede that that is true.  However, I’d have to put in this disclaimer (imagine the fast-talking announcer on the car commercials if you will):

**A majority of the fish have been swimming in a toxic waste dump.  This is extremely evident when you reel them in, as they don’t act like fish are supposed to. Some fish may not be available emotionally because they’re content to keep swiming in the toxic waste dump with lots of other fish to look at (but not get close to).  Other fish are still attached to the old fish mate and fish babies they left behind in the last pond, and they simply can’t be caught due to the sheer weight of their baggage.  And still other fish are caught in a whirlpool and won’t even bother to look at a lure due to their inability to focus anywhere but inward.

So knowing all of that, it was with a bit of cynicism that I cast my line into the “plentyoffish.com” online dating site. I’d already tried fishing in the church pond as well as several other online dating ponds. To no avail. Nothing but frustration. It was kind of a fluke that I signed up for plenty of fish. It was free and a friend at work had recommended it. My attitude was, “Guess it won’t hurt to look”.  SO glad I did. That’s how I met James.

Now Plenty of Fish is not a Christian dating site, which was one of the reasons I was leery. As someone put it, it’s like the Christians on there are fishing in a very very small inlet of a very big pond.  The third day I was on there, a tall red headed volleyball player wrote me a short note saying he was impressed with my profile (so refreshing after the mail that starts out with ,”Hey baby” and goes downhill from there).  We wrote for about a week and then moved on to phone conversation. Our phone conversations were long and enjoyable. We seemed to have chemistry and could laugh with each other. This was James’s first foray into online dating and he told me that he knew when we talked for 3 hours the first night that there was definitely something there, as he’d never had that long of a conversation with one person before.  I, having done this online dating thing for a torturous amount of time, was excited, but new that long phone conversations do not guarantee face-to-face chemistry. 

We set up our first meeting and went to dinner. It went so well, we rented a couple of movies and stayed up really late talking. We’ve been together every possible moment since (except the night we both had to do our taxes. See. Two peas in a pod, I tell ya).  Both of us believed that God could and would bring somebody into our lives, but I don’t think either of us could even imagine how perfectly the pieces would fit into place. I know that James isn’t perfect and vice versa, but we’re really struggling to find anything we don’t like about the other person. So far no annoyances or reservations whatsoever. 

So, he’s on his way over for dinner, so I’ve got to wrap this up for now. I’ll tell you more about James at a later date.

A Welcome Distraction

Well, yet again I’ve had a brief absence from blogging. But this time, it’s for a very good reason. I met someone wonderful! We’ve been spending every possible minute together, so blogging must go by the wayside for now. So if I haven’t talked to you in awhile, James may be the reason why. I’m not going to tell you all the details for now, but let’s just say I may have finally met the man I’m going to marry. (Yes, I know that for some of you, your jaw is on the floor. Pick it up and move on…). It’s just scary how he has all the qualities on my nit-picky list and even far exceeds some of my expectations (which are pretty high I’m told).  So that’s enough blubbering for now. No lectures please….I’m not going to be completely irrational and get married next month or anything.  And if you’re thinking, “I can’t believe she posted that online; he might see it and get scared off”, never fear.  As older daters, we know what we want, and don’t want to play any of those silly little dating games (like don’t mention marriage for fear of scaring someone off ). Besides, he feels the same way, and nothing in this post is anything we haven’t discussed already. 

Well that oughtta be enough to whet your appetite. I’m sure you’ll be hearing more later, if ever I find the time to write.

Thursday 13 & Random Question: Songs

For today’s installment, an offshoot of an email I got this week……

 

Thirteen Songs I Remember Loving as a Kid:

1. “Don’t it Make My Brown Eyes Blue” by Crystal Gale. I still could sing this from memory. Used to give concerts in the living room and wished my long hair would someday get that length. Also, according to reports, when I was 4 and entered in the county fair princess contest, they asked what I wanted to be when I grew up. Apparently I said a singer and broke into song.

2. “Hey, if You Happen to See the Most Beautiful Girl in the World”…….Charlie Pride (don’t think that’s the actual title).

3. Lots of ABBA songs (Dad had the 8-tracks). I particularly liked “Does Your Mother Know that You’re Out”.

4. Elvira

5. “O Thou Fount of Every Blessing” #405 in the Songs of the Church book for you C of C-ers. I can remember requesting that every chance I got.

6. Apparently I liked “Baby You’re no Good” by Linda Rondstadt because my family used to sing it to me when I was a baby and it was then my first sentence. Hmmm….How did I turn out mostly normal??!

7. Rocky Top….don’t remember who sang it, but we had the record.

8. The Mary Poppins and Sound of Music soundtracks.

9. “Flee as a Bird” I was a bit older, but loved this church song.

10.  “America” by Neil Diamond

11. “Peace in the Valley” another church song

12. “A Beautiful Prayer” a church song.

13. “9 to 5″ by Dolly Parton. I had the 45.

Ironic thing about this list is, despite the prevalance of country music, it’s not my favorite now. I have a few country singers I like, but can’t really stand to listen to a country station.  Really I just listened to what was in my Dad’s library.

I liked about everything back then. I was just a musical person.  They had to make rules about singing in the car and at the table because apparently I overdid it. To this day, if I hear part of a song, I compulsively finish it (unless I’m amongst strangers). This has been amusing for my sister, niece, and some friends who make bets amongst themselves that they can make me sing a certain word.  Many times I don’t even know I’m doing it.

So now, I’m gonna cheat and ask the random question here…….what song(s) do you remember from childhood?

Weight Watchers Wednesday

Well, trying to get back on track as far as WW goes. It went by the wayside somewhat over Spring break. Follow that with a week of several dinners out, soup day at work, and a major chocolate craving one day, and I pretty much blew that week too. Amazing how just a few days off plan will really stunt your progress.  As far as recipes, the only new one I have to share of late is my version of Southwestern Turkey burgers. Recipe here is a loose term.

Take 1 lb of ground turkey. Stir in a handful of crushed low fat tortilla chips, a bit of salsa, and season it up really well. I use mesquite flavor as well as lime juice and whatever else looks southwestern. Form into 4 patties and cook on the George Foreman grill. Top with low fat spicy cheese (or cheddar) and serve on a low fat bun. Only about 5-6 points (depending on the cheese).

I guess there is one other good ”meal” I sorta discovered. If you’re in the mood for chips and dip (which could be disastrous as far as points go), buy the WW Smart Ones Sante fe Beans and Rice. Eat it with some low fat tortilla chips. It’s pretty yummy.

Ponderable of the Day….

How is it that cats don’t need chiropractors???